Jeanie sat across the consult office from me; her eyes watered as my clients were laughing and warming up outside the open door.
I’d asked Jeanie why she wanted to change her body, and unlike others before me, I didn’t accept her answer of “to build muscle and be healthier.”
“You know, I hear that a lot,” I said. “And those are great side effects of working with us, but they aren’t why you’re here.”
At the point when most people will present at least three layers of responses, usually around having more energy or keeping up with kids, Jeanie’s eyes glistened for a few moments, then welled with tears.
I knew this situation. My reflexes, developed from thousands of consults kicked in. I walked across the room and shut the door. A few minutes later, after tactful words and space held for emotional safety, Jeanie gave me her why.
With her permission to share, not one but two ex-boyfriends physically abused Jeanie, and she wanted, nay, deserved, to feel in control again. It took her nearly a year to reach out to me.
For Jeanie, feeling in control wasn’t getting muscles for self-defense. Taking back control looked like prioritizing herself and doing some hard things that intimidated her.
I asked her, “What will it feel like to be three months down the road and have done exactly that?”
And friends, the smile that came across her face as her eyes glanced up as if someone up there was proud of her- is the stuff that makes me refuse to quit this job.
“I’d be so damn proud of myself,” she told me.
Jeanie wasn’t here to get beach-ready; she was here to take her life back and live it on her terms.
Trainers, getting abs and toned legs won’t make your clients happy, nor will those goals be compelling enough to withstand the hard work of building fitness. That may be why you are here (no judgment), but not them.
In some form, we all want our lives on our terms, and fitness is one of the few paths there.
Take time to sit with your people. Ask them “why” five times. Have a consult process; don’t throw them into a workout. Be relentless in helping them discover what you already know.
It’s more than lifting the dumbbell and putting it back down. There are Jeanies in your gym that you don’t know about.
How you handle their experience will determine if you’re the pivot point they needed or a membership contract they could have gone without signing.
You don’t have to be good at hard conversations. I’m still leaning. But what do we tell our clients? If you don’t start, you’ll never get better.
Have Fun,
-J
*Jeanie is a fictional name for a real client. She’s given permission to share details for this post with the hope of inspiring others. She’s a Rockstar:)
