I’ll tell a client they’re full of bullshit. 

I do it with more tact than that, but It needs to be done. 

When we’ve tried over and over to fix a problem like our weight, we find a “fixer.” We call a few gyms or trainers and meet our fixer, Let’s call him Virgil. He’s ready to tackle the weight problem you told him about.

But Virgil can’t help.


Because you both think you have a weight problem. Virgil may mean well, but he is a rookie. He doesn’t know to go deeper.

Very few of us have weight problems. Here is what most people have:

Somewhere along the line a couple of drinks on Friday turned into two a night. “One Chick-Fil-A stop won’t make me fat” became the default visit when food wasn’t ready at home, or we had the food but we were too stressed to eat it. “I’ll check the scale after I’ve eaten better for a few days” became avoiding scales altogether.

We don’t have a weight problem. We have a decision-making problem that accrued little by little over time.

Has your trainer ever explained that?

Do they know how to approach it head-on?

The good news is there are trainers who can do both. But you have to start your journey together with an open, honest conversation to get a sense if each of you is a fit for each other. Can they help you with the true problem?

If this sounds like you: 

Don’t shame yourself. Some of the highest achievers I’ve worked with dealt with the same problem.

Here’s something I do in my practice with clients.

Write out exactly how you inherited the weight, health, and energy problem you have.

My job is to identify where the client is now, and back-build a path to where they want to go. I identify where they are now by asking: “Go into the past for me, how did you get to here?” 

They must articulate what brought them to the place where they don’t want to be. Then, we both see exactly what is stopping them from getting where they want to be right now. It’s almost always an awareness or decision-making problem, if we solve that, we solve the weight problem and a host of other problems along with it. 

The closer

We had bees where I grew up. If you want to destroy the hive, take out the queen. 

So, when you sit in my office and say “I need to think about it.” when I ask you to commit, I’m going to tell you you’re full of B.S. Because not committing to a good choice is the “Queen Bee Problem.” You, not making the obvious right call to live a life you deserve is a much bigger problem than the extra pounds you want to remove. 


1) Write out exactly how you inherited your problem.

2) Start a conversation with a true professional, be honest.

3) Be open to killing the Queen Bee Problem. A pro will help you. Pros know to go deeper.

Don’t know a true professional. Message me. If I can’t help, I know a literal ton of them I can put you in touch with. 


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