Why do some people succeed in market crashes?
Why do some people get dumped and turn that negative energy into vibrance and health?
Why do some people use a divorce to rediscover themselves, climb Mt. Kilimanjaro, or start a punk-rock band?
Who are these Odd-defiers?
What the f*ck makes them like that?
I’ve coached people for over a decade, but more importantly, I’ve studied them, talked with them, and listened. And there are always patterns that emerge.
If there were one pattern I would imprint in your brain, it would be this; If I can talk you out of your dream, then you don’t have one. And I am very persuasive.
By dream, I dont mean fantasy. I mean a vision for your future.
Two months, three months from now, what is different about your life if you really wanted it different?
Are you down 20 lbs? You dont smoke? Do you love the person in the mirror for once in your life? What is it? What is so powerful and motivating for you that you would fight me IRL if I told you that you were full of it and couldn’t do it?
That’s a vision worth your valuable, disappearing time.
Now tell me, WHY is that vision so moving for you?
Nobody wants a lean, toned frame to fit better into a suit or a dress.
They WANT their spouse to want them.
They MISS being able to play basketball with their son or daughter.
They DESERVE to smile when they pass by a mirror and not force it, but genuinely say, “Awe shit, dawg, you looking right! Yo momma let you date?”
If I cannot rip your dream away from you, it’s because you have a deep, unwavering “why” so strong within you that an external force cannot take it from you. That’s the difference in my odd-defiers.
My client was destroying herself, one bottle at a time. It was wine, but it was also late-night fast food runs while her family slept. It was escaping her life through food and alcohol. We could work out all she wanted, but I told her it would be in vain. If she didn’t open up and work with me to reach the core of her problem, I would need to recommend another trainer.
The day came.
“You need a why that’s stronger than these chap ways of finding relief and pleasure hormones.”
We spent nearly an hour in my office. There were tears; there was grief; there were questions that no one had asked my client in her life.
She walked out of there with a vision that neither I nor any person could rip away from her.
She was over fat-loss and trying to be healthier.
She was now doing this to end the pattern of her family dying early.
She was now reconciling her dad’s heavy drinking and passing from liver cancer before meeting his granddaughters.
She was healing the hole left and the grief plaguing a family of people who won’t take care of themselves.
All of that was going to stop with her.
And I. could. not. Rip that away from her. And neither could you.
The weight fell off her.
She went stone-cold sober and inspired me to do the same for over two years.
She still falls down, but she gets back up.
She knows there isn’t a train to fall off. Instead, there’s a path to carve.
What’s most beautiful?
She doesn’t need me anymore.
It’s the best thing when I see her cheekbones in the crowd of a parade I walked in last weekend.
What is your “why?” Can I take it from you? Can I tell you no? Can I convince you that you are too weak?
Get fired up.
Burn, burn, burn, baby.
Get. Fucking. Ratchet.
Now you’re talking.
Want to know what to do with all this energy?
Tune in tomorrow.
For now, just go kick a door down or something.