An inch is always an inch long. That’s why we like to use it to measure things. It’s reliable.
We wish our feelings were like inches. We wouldn’t spend nearly as much time in therapy if they were. But since feelings like confidence change in the moment, so we shouldn’t use them to measure our chance of succeeding.
Reassurance is futile since it only bolsters confidence that is there some days and not on others. If we don’t break our belief that we need confidence, we’ll only move on days we feel lucky. We’ll be rabbits, frozen in a field.
Instead, we can choose to take actions that will generate the feelings we need. We can be the hare in mid-leap.
- Saying “I love you” in the middle of an argument.
- Waking up early to write or work out.
- Entering a yo-yo competition when you haven’t yo-yo’d since the cretaceous period, but we’ll see what happens.
Feeling confident doesn’t guarantee that you’ll win a race, but taking action will get you to the start line.