That’s why dropping all your vices and becoming healthy overnight has never worked for you. You’ll still be miserable, just with way less dopamine.
Maybe you’re fed up with the “balancing act,” which looks an awful lot like repeatedly picking yourself up after failing. Afterward, you’re either down for a bit and decide to try again or use the hate you have for where your life is and let it fuel you like Luke from Return of the Jedi. Both ways, you will end up on the floor again.
Why? Because, Padawan, you’re trying to be someone you’re not.
And there isn’t room for two people in that awesome body of yours.
Something that took me YEARS to unpack and understand is this;
The strongest force in the human brain is to remain consistent with it’s identity.
All that psychology garbledy-gook means this:
You can change a little at a time over a period of time. You cannot hit a button and have a new identity tomorrow. You are not Amazon Prime.
It’s going to take work. But the work is less scary than we think; it’s not the changes we must make.
The work is accepting and embracing ALL the parts of you as necessary—especially the shitty parts as essential for making you unique as you’re steadily progressing with a new change; this is patience maturely.
Until we stop believing we will only be fulfilled one day when we are fit, beautiful, or possess no bad traits, we will continuously have to pick ourselves up when our plans inevitably collapse.
When we stop playing the fool’s game and accept that we can find fulfillment in this version of us right here and now, making small changes along the way, our performance anxiety lifts, we think and act more clearly, and we pick up speed as we go.
Progress = fulfillment. This is a good formula.
Not “Results = fullfilment.” You will fail with that math. That’s “2+2= you’re getting screwed”
Trust me, I get it.
I’ve been that guy with streaks of great effort and adherence, only to become “worn out” from being something I’m not, then reverting to my old ways.
I’ve helped a lot of people out of that place, too.
It’s done by doing the very thing we avoid.
Slow down. Take small steps. Hold them over time. Get accountability from someone who will vouch for “future you” as being worth the wait.
Trust me. They are.
If you don’t know what those steps are, email me or message me here. My inbox is open and full of guys talking to themselves in it.