Coffee, Sugar, and the “Social Well”

If you give someone a number of something, they will want it to go up.

Would you like one sugar, or two?

Would you like 40 Instagram followers, or 45,000?

We chase the number because we tie value to it. We’ve convinced ourselves (with the help of marketing, social norms, and survival instinct) that more of something means more value.

But why not just chase the value?

What if the questions above were asked in a different way?

Do you like your coffee sweet? or would you like to taste what’s unique about this blend?

What if those 40 Instagram followers were close family and friends?

Would you like 40 Instagram followers who read your words, and knew the people and places in your photos? Or would you like 49,960 followers who you’ll never get to know beyond a heart emoji?

The 40 followers are likely people who know you. They will give your name to your next employer. They will set you up on a double date that will go (as far as double dates are concerned) amazing. They will be there when you have a flat tire and need to get to work.

The value of your social life doesn’t come from the breadth of your reach. It’s not about how wide your well is.

It’s about the depth of the well, from which you can pull value.

It’s here, with the people in front of you every day or two.

They matter.


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