I Had Corndogs In My Pockets

Some people work on their greeting during first impressions. I show up with corndogs. 

Nearly three years ago, a member of my gym invited me out to a movie. Probably because she thought I needed to get out of my house (she was right.) I accepted the offer and on the drive over, passed a Sonic Drive-thru on the way to the theatre…then I pulled a U-turn.

“You know what would make me happy? To sneak in some corndogs for everyone!” I counted the numbers in the group text she added me to, then lo and behold, ten minutes later, I was standing in the ticket line with eight fresh-out-the-oven corndogs in the pockets of my rather small shorts. I had the ketchup packets in my hand because mustard is for psychos.

“Jucha!, what are you up to man?” An unexpected voice said from just out of view. My old friend Chris Mcchughes stood to my left, wearing slacks and a button-up shirt with a nametag. HE WAS THE MANAGER OF THIS THEATRE, and I was the guy obviously sneaking in either a ton of food or a deformity into the movies. It was about this time I noticed the corndogs were hot, like, really hot… burning through my pockets hot. 

“Not sneaking corndogs into your theatre!” I yelled loud enough for everyone and their deaf grandma to hear. All Chris gave me was a silly stare and laughs. I got my ticket, said I’d catch up later, then waddle-ran to the door for the movie. 

I made it, I walked up to our aisle and said hey to everyone, then like some adonis of a hangry, munchies god, began pulling corndogs out of my pockets one-at-a-time for each person and passing then down the aisle. “Wait, I got ketchup too!!” 

Pleasantly confused and surprised laughs filled my ears. I had one extra so I gave it to the guy next to me who wasn’t part of our group, but now was.

I say all of this to say: If you feel like you will look out of place, or silly, or weird by showing up to a gym, Just know, there is a guy here who greets strangers with piping hot corndogs. He also may also the place.


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