Don’t chase non-believers. Find the believers and go to them.
More specifically, find the people who believe you can be more than you are, because the life you want to have is going to require a good bit of effort. You will have to become more than you are to have it.
If you’re sedentary and 40 lbs over your “happy weight” and want to become someone who’s healthy, energetic, and works out every day, that’s going to take more effort than the person who only has 10 lbs to lose and already runs three times a week.
If you are going on a long road trip, you fill your tank up with gas, not sugar crystals.
So what is your gasoline, and what are your sugar crystals? They’re your friends. They can be both.
Statements like “you’re just fine the way you are” or “you can cheat tonight, come have drinks” are spears into your ankle. You do not want to hear these. These come from people who do not support or respect your ambition to work on something that matters to you.
You want to hear, “how can I help?” and “let’s pick a restaurant you can still eat well at.”
Your circle is going to grow smaller as you age. Mine has, so has just about everyone else I know over 30. Take advantage of that as early as you can by becoming selective of your circle.
I’ve seen people become more selective and even say “no” when it was the right thing to do. The best thing to do is to identify the people who treat you more like someone they care about and care for. Then you return the favor when they are working on their thing.
The worst thing you can do is fill your circle with either A) Detractors, or B) “yes men” and “yes women.”
Neither care if you get better. Neither weighs their actions with ‘is this the right thing for my friend?” Their impact on your life is predicated on how good you make them feel.
What environment are you creating through your circle? DO you have supportive friends? Do you need some? Here’s what I would do.
- Google “CrossFit near me.”
- Start at a beginner level and make some acquaintances.
- The difference between the people around you will become much clearer.
Other things to google:
- Weight Watchers
- Oranger Theory
- Boxing gyms
- Other community-based programs centered on self-improvement.