We regret to Inform You That You Are Alive.

I regret to inform you that you are alive.

This unfortunate news comes with the prognosis that you will die.

Unless you’re already dead, that is.

In which case, why are you reading this? Ah, right-right, because you must have nothing better to do. I should have guessed.

That’s kind of how life goes, though, isn’t it? We’re all just waiting around this station for our train to come in, and have no idea when it’s coming.

You may as well do something fun to pass the time, or else, risk having so little fun that the time passes you by! See, you’re not so dead after all. You’re just like everyone else here.

Well, except for the ones having too much fun to read this.

So, anyway. Sorry to break the news, but someone here has to do it. It’s a mighty serious job, so someone with a light heart should consider the work. You wouldn’t be interested now, would you? Doesn’t sound fun, eh?

You know, that’s the thing everyone likes to forget about fun- it’s not always that fun. A boy playing soccer says he’s having fun, but he’s out of breath half the time and chasing after a ball other children will try to take from him. It’s gladiators for children!

Maybe the best way to describe fun to you is “Being busy on YOUR terms,” whatever that is.

And I should leave it at that.

Anyway, time is a-ticking, and I’ve got more people to deliver the sad news to!



Seatbelt, or Never Be The Same

My dad never wore his seatbelt when he drove. Neither did I. Until the day I was in a tragic car wreck. I lost my

Me Lucky Charms

My accomplishments haven’t brought me lasting happiness. But the friends, memories, screw-ups, and adventures along the way have. Some common goals we have on repeat

Use Social, Don’t Let it Use You.

Human beings need boundaries. We build fences to keep our dogs from running into the street. We put walls in the median to prevent collisions


Talk with a coach about your goals. Get the plan to achieve them.


Take the first step towards getting the results you want!